FRAGILE GIANTS

What's on my mind?

Musings......;
Morning Musings over a bowl of Eba as i like to refer to prepared cassava flour, lol,  you see this is my very very difficult attempt at describing to a Non-Nigerian this particular meal and it's importance in the circle of Nigerian meals....

You see, my dear friend this Eba I speak of is not the subject 2015 by y discuss this morning, I only need to explain to you that for most Nigerian's, Eba or any other related swallow and an appetizing or even less-than-appetizing bowl of soup, is considered "chief of meals" as far as a typical Nigerian menu is considered.

Now you're wondering why I seem to be making a bowl of Garri or Eba occupy space on the National headlines? 

Here is what my gist is, most commonly people muse in the mornings over cups of coffee, which I'll like to consider as a borrowed culture.

You see this is Africa, Nigeria precisely, and in Nigeria not a lot of us are in the "cup of coffee" business, we would rather sit over a good bowl of solid food!

Call me archaic but hey my friends, I wasn't there when the first meal menu ever, was designed. I just met and adopted this Nigerian concept and I'll like to think it works for those of us who are not struggling with identity crisis.

So back to my musings......

I'm wondering why the Hell a grown lady with two hands and a functional Brain will on meeting a potential date, dump all her generational problems on a guy.

Typically a man should bail when confronted with such situations and you label him "insincere, Unserious plus tight fisted, coating it off with your rants of "Na dem"!

(Only Nigerian's will get this part)

Who says that a man should be considered a meal ticket???

Sweetie, I'm not saying you shouldn't accept gifts or favors but at least save all of us in the fraternity of womanhood, some embrassment by waiting for the man to make offers and even when he does, know which gifts to accept.

What ever happened to the days when girls intentionally tried to attain the status of being referred to as Ladies???

I'll like to think of a "Lady" as a Specie of the feminine creation. Other Species include girls, females (Under the auspices of English language, please don't ask me the basis of my hypothesis) and any other category that may soothe you. 

Ladies most certainly can keep male acquaintances as with any other category of females, but of course on a foundation of Dignity; that sometimes may be misjudged as pride.

A Lady will not on the first assessment of a guy, label him a Gold Mine much less kill herself with food on a first date just because it won't be her credit card that will be swiped harshly over the POS.

Some redefine greed by even going away with takeaway packs for not just girlfriends waiting for the juicy detail of how much the dude weighed on the scale of "spendability" but also take some on reserve for next days Lunch.

The minute a young man walks up to you, your house rent expires and your family food stuff evaporate.

Your phone goes bad and to top it off, tomorrow is your blasted Birthday and a "get together" doesn't sound like a bad idea.

If your moral ethics aren't dead cold yet and your Ogbanje hasn't gotten the better of you , how will a guy say "HI" and you already have a picture of a new hairstyle?

What ever happened to decency, whatever happened to the most powerful word in the Vocab of a Lady,  "No thank you" ??

So there's this new eatery in town and you have convinced yourself you are Nigeria's minister of tourism and you have to check it out but it's got to be on the shoulders of a man. Can't you see you're  already displaying suicidal warning signs???

You're simply showing your dependence on others for happiness.

When was the last time you spent a properly earned 1000 Nigerian Naira on your self just for the beauty of it??

If 70% of your property were compulsorily donated by men then my dear you should be evicted from this Noble Fraternity of Womanhood

Let a man spend some times but don't make him obligated to do so especially when you're neither married nor share a serious bond with the man.

Certain favours should be met with a Firm but respectful decline. For the few times that you ask or receive favors, let the man present your solution garnished with respect for your person.
For me this is a more colorful portrait of how a woman should be related with.

I'm actually saying NO to this New Age craze of Materialism and you should stand with me for the sake of our next generation Girl-Child.

Whist we chant our "SAY NO TO SUICIDE, let's not be the reason a life is suffocated!
Let's all say NO TO GREED and YES to SELF RESPECT, CONTENTMENT and VIRTUE.

My Name is Chioma Agwu Mba and I speak my own mind!

Love,
Fragile Giant!

PERSPECTIVE.......
You wonder why one person looks at an object and finds an ugly piece, while another looks at the same object and sees an enduring piece of art.....
PERSPECTIVE!

Why one person looks at people and all but sees flaws, while another looks at the same people and sees potentials; work in progress.....
PERSPECTIVE!

One man looks at an expanse of Land and sees Greeneries, nature's Beauty; while another looks and sees a mighty Evil forest.....
PERSPECTIVE!

Ever wonder why one man sees a task as an adventure and thus goes at it with merriness, while another sees the same task as an Ordeal.....
PERSPECTIVE!

Why one man sees "giving" as an inconvenience and another looks at giving as an investment opportunity.....
PERSPECTIVE!

The culprit of our actions and inactions is this thing called PERSPECTIVE!

Perspective to be explained simply, will be said to be how one sees things......

I'm not sure any explanation will be simpler than that; perhaps even more profound than that!

Many times it's not what you look at that matters, but what you see!
How you see and respond to life depends on your perspective.

The primary cause of unhappiness is not, has never been the situation but your thoughts towards it.

Shockingly on several occasions; we often look at things as we are, rather than looking at things as they are!

Our personality can also distort our view of things.....
For example we tend to expect people to be like us, rather than acknowledging their uniqueness and adjusting to it.

More shocking is that what we see, depends on what we are looking for.

The more you expect to see people's flaws, the more you will find them. People are not perfect, will never be!


In the same vein, the more you look for their positives, the more interesting things about them you will find!

PERSPECTIVE my friends, is everything!

Sometimes all it takes is to try shifting your perspective to be able to see something "familiar" in a whole new light!

If you can change the way you look at things, the things you look at will definitely change!

Our experiences as well as our world changes, when we change our perspective....

The results of changing our perspectives are certainly limitless....

From improving the quality of our lives,
To being more productive and solution oriented,
To building better relationships,
And anything else you might want to add!

All are hinged on PERSPECTIVE

All you need to do is COLOUR YOUR VISION!
Your vision is your exclusive right and no matter how much I love, it behooves on you alone to ADJUST IT.

If a person can work on his "sight" from inside, I can guarantee a healthier, more fulfilling life for such person.....

Don't forget, all you ever want is "as far as your eyes can see"!
Do well to give yourself the much needed "Eye check"!

Love,
Your Fragile Giant!

That I don't have any immediate reasons to want to migrate yet doesn't mean I should be closed minded towards those given to explorations and adventures or those who seek to improve their fortunes.

Many times I have heard stories of young Nigerians who were swindled by people who promised to help them secure residency in certain countries; some pulled through with the travel, while others lost their hard earned Money and still weren't successful.

For some other's, they got there and realised that the Immigration laws of those countries were far from favourable and thus they became fugitives, even though the had Big dreams with the best intentions before setting out.

I'm aware of how daisy this subject is especially in Nigeria and I must state that I'm no authority in tourism but curiosity made me try to find what countries have far more less stress, Immigration hassles and residency procedures.

The aim for me firstly is for prospective immigrants to be more guided in their choices, as much as possible reduce the rate of immigration casualties and of course ensure less victimization in that regard.

I admit that I may be unable to censor who reads this post and what intentions may be birthed by it, however this exposition is with the best intentions of enlightening well meaning individuals who may have interests in Immigration.

That said, Here is a submission of countries most easy to migrate to.

1. ECUADOR
Ecuador is a country in South America.

It has been described as a land of boiling volcanoes, soaring mountain peaks, and old pastel colored colonial towns, Ecuador is exactly the sort of over-romanticized stereotype of Latin America, the sort we all grew up imagining that we lived.. It’s got beaches.

They communicate in Spanish and Amerindian Languages.
People from this part of the world are called Ecuadorians.

It’s got a remarkably low cost of living, and the US dollar as a currency.

Technically, the minimum requirement for Ecuador’s Visa is that you need to  show that $800 will be landing in your bank account every single month for as long as you live there. In Naira, that would be #280,000. 

The low requirement means people with trust funds, compensation pay outs and  royalties are all able to net an easy visa

2. BELGIUM
Belgium is Germany’s go-to country to invade after Poland.
Tiny Belgium is one of northern Europe’s tiniest states. Slightly smaller than Maryland USA, it is a low land that boast of a whole lot of beautiful road network and connections.

On the other hand, it also has some of the most attractive small towns on the continent.

It is also fairly easy to get long-term residency. The one thing you have to do? Get a job!

Sounds easy right? But your CV has to be Professional, stating your last job and  “most recent role.”  
The point is, you actually need to be employable. 

They always look out for skill and professionalism.

In Belgium, not only will they let you apply for work as an outsider, they’ll then offer you a residency permit after just two weeks of employment.

3. PARAGUAY
Sounds like Uruguay, but this country is actually situated in the Central South America.

Nothing could be simpler than getting residency in Paraguay, Paraguay may not necessarily be described as popular but cannot be called "underdeveloped" in comparison  to certain African Nations either.

Back to why getting residency here is easy, the American  government seems desperate to get as many people into the landlocked South American nation as possible. As a result, there’s only one hard and fast requirement.

You need to deposit money in a Paraguayan bank. A small amount won’t do, but you don’t have to go too big. Between $4,500-$5,500 USD which will be around 1.5 Million Nigerian Naira.

Once you’ve done that, Paraguay is your oyster.
The cost living, from my findings is affordable.

4. BELIZE
An English-speaking nation in Central America, complete with ultra-low cost of living and the sort of beaches you’d expect to see Young Michael Jackson running down in slow motion! Lol, just kidding.

Yeah, this is an actual Place that Exists, and its name is Belize. Wedged awkwardly between Mexico and Guatemala.

This country has been described as a small slice of paradise and certainly not overpopulated.

So, what’s the trick to setting up base  in this land of palm trees and crystal waters? That’s the best part.

You can apply for permanent residency in Belize after only a year there. 

To stay there for a year, all you have to do is arrive on a 30-day tourist visa, and keep renewing it every 30 days. When you hit the 50 week mark, pay $1,000 and, after jumping through some Immigration hoops, you should be in.

 Just be careful of the requirement, some departments have that you leave the country for two weeks every 6 months. Doing so will reset your year-long countdown.

5. NICARAGUA
This is a country in Central America who speak Spanish.

It might be a shock for those whose parents remember 1980s Nicaragua as a place of leftist coups, civil wars and rightwing Contras, all of that is true but survival there is not impossible.

Provided you can ignore the politics,avoid political demonstrations Nicaragua is the place you always wanted to go home to.

Nicaragua runs a retirement program, just like Ecuador. And, just like Ecuador, they take their own entry requirements with a pinch of salt.
Provided you can prove an income of $600 a month about #210,000 Nigerian Naira, you definitely can survive.

6. SVALBARD (NORWAY)
Say whaaaat? You’re telling us that Norway is the easiest country on Earth to move to? The same Norway that requires those who want permanent residency – not even citizenship – to study Norwegian for 250 hours and complete 50 hours of ‘social studies’? That Norway?

Well, actually no. Not quite.

The archipelago of Svalbard is indeed part of Norway, but in the same way that Puerto Rico is part of the US, or Greenland is part of Denmark.

A whole lot of important things have been reviewed in the Svalbard administration in Longyearbyen, from gun control, to environmental issues, to emergency services, and the issuing of marriage certificates.

One of the things that has also been reviewed  is immigration, and Svalbard works on a very different system to Norway. There is no visa regime on Svalbard at all. Literally anyone can move there and settle down without the need for a permit.

The only thing you need to prove is that you have sufficient funds to support yourself after moving there.

 This is important, because Svalbard is cold. Closer to the North Pole than it is to mainland Norway (itself a very cold country), Svalbard is actually freezing.


That's it on SUPER EASIEST COUNTRIES TO MIGRATE TO.

The disclaimer would be, if for any reason you consider any of this countries worth going to; please ensure to conduct further research.

For me, NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
Rather than thrashing a broken down system, you fix it!

Love,
Your Fragile Giant.

Oh wow, it feels so good to be back!
I'm terribly sorry for my disaparing act.

Has something to do with issues bothering on LOGISTICS.(I don't even know who invented that word, but please whoever it is deserves an Oscar!)
Lol, "Logistics," dont i just feel sorry for that word already!

Logistics in this part of the world would be defined as that word we use to explain what cannot be explained, that word that summarizes the phrase, "I can explain". Hehehe. Genius that I am!

Okay guys, let me just put your curiosity at rest, I had to hibernate for a while. Had some lessons to take and I'm happily going to share with you all which ones I consider necessary to you in the advent of time.

Trust me when I say it was worthwhile and thank you for bearing with my MIA status!

That said, let's get down to today's business!
I AM CINDERELLA......

During the course of taking my lessons this last few days I came across a very popular nursery Rhyme many of us are used to, it goes

ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT
GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM
MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY
LIFE IS BUT A DREAM!

Familiar right? But with lots of lessons we hardly notice!

I, like most people, sang this rhyme through primary school and even sang it as I helped babysit kids, without understanding; until a few days ago.
And like the famous inventor, a light bulb went on in my head as I screamed, " Eureka, I have found it"!

I assure you I will waste no further time in sharing my findings with you, as I break this poem down line by line!

Here we go,

ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT;
This line crystal clearly refers to HARDWORK on your DREAMS.
Bottom line, it's completely up to you to ROW your own boat!

People may choose to partner with you, but ultimately you occupy the lead, so as to provide direction!

Imagine each one of your "helpers" trying to row "your" boat in the direction that they deem fit, no need to guess the outcome. You all will be in the water and struggling to swim to safety before you say Jack!

Rowing a boat takes some effort that may not be palatable until you master the strokes and that's how life, you never "row" any endeavor without some measure of Hardwork.

Many times, it's typical of humans to seek gratification without as much as possible, work done!
If harvests were possible without a "sowing", most of us will be glad to scream, "Oh, the better!".

GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM;
Emphasis on GENTLY.....

For many who have grasped the "Hardwork" angle to life, we also sometimes unkwowningly  aim at "over kill".

Over kill simply explained, will be that something is already dead and you keep taking measures to keep "killing" it,
(funny how many times I had to use the word "keep" unnecessarily) in the end you will be 21st centuries most hilarious clown!

This is not the consice English Dictionary definition but should do in expressing my point.
Interestingly that's how we are sometimes at chasing our dreams.

Even as you strive to ROW YOUR DREAMS, don't be to hard on yourself!

And no guys, this is not a shout out to 
"mediocre" people.
It's a therapeutic intervention for people who drive their dreams even at the expense of health, family and life itself. 

Amazingly life itself puts up reminders like this that we fail to take note of in our pursuit of dreams.
As the saying goes, "Easy does it"

Find the balance my dear friends, between work and play; so you don't burn out before you are able to reach the shore of your dreams.

MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY
I could write a full book on this one!

Oh my dear friends, how do I make you understand that ATTITUDE is everything?

Some of us for very good reasons, have lost our sweet smiles to the harsh realities of life.

We have replaced merriness of heart with deep frowns, scolws on our faces and of course  have set in place unconsciously, a fast "aging" procedure, instead of an anti-aging arrangement.

Imagine the fragrance of a Beautiful Smile,
The Charm of a beautiful soul?

To butress this point, 
Did you notice that " MERRILY" was repeated 4times, in contrast to "ROW" which was repeated just 3times.

This goes to show how far more important your ATTITUDE is over the pursuit of your dreams.
It's really not about what happened to you as it is how you handled it!

Choose to weather your storms MERRILY,
Choose to return a sweet smile for every stone cast your way.

If what people did or did not do controls your actions as well as reactions, then it means you are yet to gain mystery of your own life.

No one nor circumstance has any right to wipe the smile of your  face, if you understand it is "YOUR SMILE" and you choose what you do with it! You simply are in charge.

Whatever controls your mood, your attitude has you at Ransome!
Don't let life ruffle you enough to harden your heart and consequently your face!

Oh you will get hit and sometimes beaten to the ground, but don't lie down there.
Rise up, however slowly. Knock off the dust sweetie. Dress your bruises and keep pushing.

Never loose sight of the Big picture in front of you;
This isn't a motivators theory, it's a principle I live by.
It didn't come cheap, I've learned as I conquered every one of my mountains.

Let your smile be the sun that brightens the world around you!
Everyone is attracted to a person of sweet spirit!

LIFE IS BUT A DREAM.....
Life my dear friends, is truly but a dream.
As far as you can dare to imagine!

Life can become your fairy tale.
Nothing stops you, my dear Cinderella from attending the kings ball.

It's up to you to "charm" your way into the kings party with the sweetest smile on your face and good grace.

And by the way, "Smiles" are not in anyway gender centric. Anyone can wear a beautiful smile.

Don't forget my friends, that your thoughts become you!
On the flip side, you become exactly what you think!

If you think you can, then YOU CAN!

If the world has ever celebrated men and women of creativity, 100% of these people were dreamers.
Including Yours truly;  the one, the only FRAGILE GIANT.

I am one restless dreamer and that's why I can picture a seeming useless piece of stone into an enduring Art, Like I just did to this Rhyme.

Guess what?? I'll keep dreaming!
I am my own script writer and will always be!

I AM CINDERELLA,
KNOWING THAT EVERYTHING LIFE EVER CELEBRATES STARTS WITH A DREAM.

Never let go your dreams, keep ROWING with all the courage you can muster; dressed with a beautiful attitude!

Be a dreamer, Live like a dreamer.....

If you keep believing, that dream you wish for will come true!
And soon Just like Cinderella, you will become a Princess....
Trust me when I say the palace will come looking for you!

You don't have a Dream??
It doesn't take much, just close your eyes and make a wish!

Love,
Your Fragile giant!

Someone by now is probably wondering why i seem "Hell bent" on Continuing with the GRA-ART-TI-TUDE thing.

First will be because every beginning must have a good and well understood END,
Secondly, because GRATITUDE CHANGES EVERYTHING!

GRATITUDE turns the little that we have into a "more than enough".

Just on the side, before I continue from where I left off;

I do not consider myself a relationship Expert but I have it good authority that
GRATITUDE could improve your relationship with your spouse and reduces feelings of Resentment!
Especially in times of misunderstandings.

Try making a list of all the things you love about that person, it will help you see how amazing that person is inspite of their weaknesses.

So people RIGHT BACK WHERE WE LEFT OFF!

5. FORGIVENESS GAME
Choosing to forgive is a way to release distress and heal from the memory of incidence.
Forgiveness is most times quite difficult but very achievable
How does it work?

• Make a list of everyone who has you deeply
• Mentally Picture these people in your heart one after the other
• Recall the incidence
• Admit the pain they have caused you
• Try to make excuses for their excuses (Yeah it's hard but if you reach down your heart you will)
• Think of 2 good reasons to forgive them
• Let them go in your mind

Learning the GRATITUDE Rope....

Yesterday we started a series on
GRA-ART-TI-TUDE and I remember saying that achieving the attitude of gratitude was not an INSTANT thing.

Think of it, how can you ask a man to be "thankful" for hell that seems to be letting loose around him??

That would seem like the height insensitivity!

But Oh Yes, he can be grateful still;
If only that man can see that "Hell" as a class for professionals on "heat management"! Lol

Funny illustration but the point is GRATITUDE is basically as a result of your perception.

Once you change your Perception of life, trust me giving gratitude is easy!
It just takes practice and consistency and soon you will become a MASTER OF GRATITUDE!

Never forget that gratitude is an "Art"!
It solely in your hands to choose what designs, colours and styles you want for yours.

Plain or Beautiful Art? It's all up to you!

Gratitude is a SERIES OF THOUGHT PATTERNS.
It is VERY INTENTIONAL and has to be PRACTICAL.....

At this point if your not ready to have your attitude altered by practicalizing what you are about to learn PLEASE PUT THE BREAKS ON HERE!

But if you are ready for some INTENTIONAL CHANGE then please come with me as I SHOW YOU A FEW TRICKS that I'm personally working with.

First, you must be dedicated to spending ATLEAST 15Minutes to practice at least one of the Trick, GAME STYLE.

Be sure it won't be boring at all.....

1. KEEP A GRATITUDE DIARY

• Buy a little note or Diary, alongside a Pen.
• Write dates on each of your entries in the Diary.
• Every day make sure to dedicate any 15mins of your time to make an entry.

Write ATLEAST 5THINGS you are grateful for each day!
         You can actually go beyond 5.

• You have write in specifics e.g I'm thankful that I had a tasty Lunch today etc.

The goal of this exercise is to remember good events and provoke positive emotions!

2. THE GRATITUDE GAME
This is actually a game and you can choose to play this game with a partner or on your own.
It shouldn't take more than 10minutes of your time.

First take a breath.....

• Name 3people you are thankful for
• Name 3places you are thankful for
• Name a food you are thankful for
• Name 3things you are thankful for
• Name moments in your life you are thankful
• Name 3experiences you are thankful for

Yeah people, it's the same word you know GRATITUDE
I just put a little twist on this one.

Gratitude the way you know it means showing appreciation or a state of being thankful.....

In the world that we live in today, we are plagued by all manner of hardships and challenges.

Depression seems to be hanging like a cloak over lots of lives for very justifiable reasons.
This is evident in the staggering number of suicides, Mental ill Health's, Under achievements and lots more.....

Dear, Dear, Dear!
I'm one who enjoys and believes in "Happily ever afters" so I don't exactly enjoy recounting sad tales.....
I believe that life could be YOUR FAIRYTALE and that there is a Magic wand called GRATITUDE.

So Beautiful people, I'm going to be breaking down GRATITUDE my own way!

Here is what it is.......
GRA-ART-TITUDE
GRA is a Latin prefix which means "to consent to a condition"

TUDE, a suffix which means the quality or State of a thing....

The "ART" will get explained in a sentence.

Now if I put it together I'll have gratitude to mean;
A me who "Artfully" or "creatively" consents to the condition of being happy or thankful in other to CONSCIOUSLY Improve the quality of my life.....

Boom!
May be I ended up complicating issues but the point is, You actually "consent" to however you react to life and what happens to you.

Secondly you need to know that whatever your choices, positive or negative, will certainly affect the quality of your life!

That said,
The place of GRATITUDE cannot be overemphasized.
Gratitude is actually the MOST UNDERUTILIZED tool in Nature's Armoury and especially when things don't feel right!
If we can just look away from our challenges one bit.

Gratitude may not be an instant "cure all" tool but will certainly guarantee a Better and Healthier approach to living!

Gratitude is being THANKFUL for a chance to MASTER the ART called life....

Gratitude is your chance to get the "more" that you deserve from life......

Gratitude is your Persuasion on life not to kick you out.....

Gratitude is your realization that life is a chance to go beyond your challenge to give to people around you what they perhaps will never be able to get for themselves.....

Gratitude is your chance at making better and positive choices.....

Gratitude is the force that makes you want to push yourself from the ground believing that challenges are there to help you build capacity .......

Gratitude makes you want to WIN, pushing till you become your best......

Gratitude changes how you think, how you see people, how you approach situations and ultimately how to CELEBRATE BOTH BIG AND SMALL WINS!

GRATITUDE starts with your realization that Life is not a competition to win or lose, but a party to CELEBRATE this beautiful process of living!

Yes Sweetie,
I'm not left out of the guilt of grumpiness sometimes and my fair share of small depressions so I can tell you I'm writing for myself too.

Gratitude is truthfully not an instant thing, it won't happen in one day, however you can choose how the speed at which you achieve the attitude of GRATITUDE.

It does take practice and consistency so I'm going to show you how I ensure to stay grateful.....

Trust me when I say you were born for the very moment where you are!

Stick with me on this one as I continue the series tomorrow with sure skills that can help you stay positive and grateful!

Until then,
ACT LIKE CHAMPIONS, BE CHAMPIONS.....

Love,
Your Fragile Giant!

The falling state is a very important part of the growth process, for everyone who aspires to be an authority in the area that they choose.

It's that point where ideas are far from desirable or even believable.
It's that point where ideas seem isolated and unintelligent.

It's that point for a potter, where only him sees beauty in the clay he is working on!
Emphasis on "working on".

Look my friends, for that beautiful APPLICATION you are happily enjoying, that APP was once in it's "falling state";will most certainly always be because someone is somewhere bearing the brunt of it's success!

The part you see and enjoy is called the Graphic USER Interface.
Notice I highlighted "user", you remain just a user, (with no offence meant);
there are men who have left the user level for the "creators" or "inventors" level.

For that App there is an invisible part that ensures the smooth running of the app, that part is called the " back end".......

In that back-end realm, nothing is fun.

All they have are raw ideas that need to be prepared by them!

All that happens in that realm is work!
Eye strains, Back pains, exhaustion, Fatigue, Brainstorming and sometimes the feeling of quitting!

That's where the codes, intsuctions, programs are written!

The falling state is that coach who is unable to sit through a match in anxiety because he wants results.

It's not the players who are most important in a game of soccer, it's the coach who Strategizes without end , loses sleep, organizes trainings, rejects vacation in the middle of a season, pushes, yells if he has to because scoring goals are his GOALS

The falling state is a state of burden bearing, depression sometimes, just to birth ideas.

The falling state is that woman in Labour, screaming her lungs out.
The process, undesirable but the rewards exhilarating!

That state, where you are willing to pay sacrifices for the future that you desire.

The falling state is that back stage that houses the make up artists, who polish with finesse, those artist that you revere.

Activity does not equal productivity,
The artist may be gyrating on the stage and having a good time but the more active part of the production, is the crew that you cannot see.

See, if you are in your falling state, do not despair.....
Consider it your gift to come back BETTER, STRONGER, WISER, MORE EFFICIENT at what you fell doing.

For me my "falling state" is my desire to wake up to a better version of myself.

For the purpose of explanation,
Let me share a very personal project.

I'm a big dreamer, with plenty i want to do but NONE of my dreams in this world is bigger than becoming a woman who succeeded in her job of being a wife,
the one who ensures she stands by her husband till he becomes all that he was born to be, no matter the cost!

My falling state will be knowing
I'm far from that kind of wife but ensuring i'm working everyday on my attitude, habits, skills, mindset etc to become that!

My falling state will be incubating my thoughts before I write and not just writing because I feel I have a gift in writing.....

I'm not interested in the FREQUENCY of my write up's but in it's INTENSITY!

Oh there's so much in my heart to explain but look at this,
No seed germinates without first falling to the soil.

The soil, a place of dirt,slime, microorganisms etc but that's where nature chooses to act upon seeds.....

The falling state is your most humble state.
It's a place where you should develop strength for your dreams.....

Oh sweetie, Cry if you must.
It's perfectly okay to let your pain out but after you have cried, pick yourself up and ask yourself "what next"? 

Where was I headed before I fell and why was I going in that direction?
These questions will help you understand you're motives better and build in the required adjustments.

For some, your falling state could be business that collapsed,
For some others it could be loss of physical items,
For some others, relationships gone sour and whatever else your experiences may have birthed.

Notice I used FALLING, Present continuous tense, rather than FALLEN, Past tense....
Just before you hit the ground, help will come!

It's not over yet.
A Falling state is not the same as a state of Coma nor death.

It's okay to fall intentionally,
That moment when you take a break from work, activity, social life, social media, to sit by yourself to work out things.
Don't think that your Generator has the ability to run without diesel!
Make necessary stops to top up!

Regardless of what you think you know, take time to sit back, admit your falling state and treasure the gift to make things better!

Oh! be sure, that that seed that fell to the soil will not always remain a seed, it will become a huge tree that will shelter other creatures and possibly provide them with food!

Oh! Your dreams may require loosing a teeth or breaking a bone, but don't forget seeds go through a hard time before germination!

I wish I had a way of displaying my heart on this page for you all to see and I can only pray that you get the exact message I'm trying to pass across....

Be sure that I love you all more than anything else and I desire that you succeed.

Love,
Your Fragile Giant!

On several occasions we have lost out on opportunities, people, connection, fortunes etc just because we disabled our power of SIGHT and PERCEPTION.

We've lost lots of opportunities because we concentrated on superficial things.

For some people God gifts them with RARE SECOND CHANCES but for some others it becomes a Museum of Life long loses.

The whole essence of life is to GET BETTER but trust me CONTINUAL LOSES IS NOT THE WAY TO GO!

So people I'm dedicated to helping us all minimize our loses and maximize our opportunities.

The beautiful thing about teaching is that you learn also, so I'm definitely thankful for every opportunity to learn and become a BETTER VERSION OF MYSELF!

I did a study on PEARLS, the actual pearls women wear as Jewellery and I intend to share the outcome of my study and how this knowledge can be applied to our everyday lives.....

WHY PEARLS???
On countless occasions women have been associated with pearls;
In their usage of pearls as Jewelry, as well as when it is figuratively describing a woman of worth!

At any rate, Pearls represent things that we consider PRECIOUS, whether as Jewelry, PEOPLE or OPPORTUNITIES.....

I set out studying HOW TO SPOT PEARLS as Jewelry, owing to the fact that FOR EVERY ORIGINAL, THERE MUST BE A FAKE. 
The essence of the study for me was to see if there were "not too obvious" lessons hidden in my seeming "ordinary" quest.

The first lessons I learned was that IT'S QUITE DIFFICULT MOST TIMES TO DISTINGUISH REAL PEARLS FROM FAKE ONES!

The next other thing I found were that pearls were MADE BY NATURE......
In other words they are NATURAL.....

Pearls are actually found in the Ocean, on River beds!

Permit me to digress a little,

Yes I'm very aware that the opposite of Natural is ARTIFICIAL.....

A normal African man will probably be weighing this information side by side with his preference for women who don't wear makeup....

But pegging a beautiful lady who sees nothing wrong with ENHANCING HER PHYSICAL BEAUTY as "ARTIFICIAL" doesn't quite do Justice to the word.

As a matter of fact I consider it a lopsided view of things......

However the clause on enhancement for me would be  the word "MODERATION"!

I'm more inclined to consider the word.        "Artificial" to mean FALSE or MISLEADING....

Her make-up shouldn't be the yardstick to measure her personality as "false" or "misleading".

In Simple English, if her personality isn't FALSE or MISLEADING, please do not refer to her as ARTIFICIAL.

For me the detour or digression on this article seemed absolutely necessary because there has been a lot of controversy around men and the subject of women who wear makeup.

For any man who doesn't agree with me, here's what to do; look up the word
 "enhancement" and see what you find!

Back to where we left off,
The whole essence of this to research is to first help us be able to spot the things that we seek, 
secondly to help us Fashion our lives in such a way that we emulate the NATURE OF PEARLS....

I actually understudied different people who trade on pearls and here's how they told me I SHOULD BE ABLE TO SPOT REAL PEARLS.....

1. BY OBSERVATION
Paying close attention to details because every pearl has it's INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITY.
It shocked me that the word "personality" is associated with something inanimate like pearls.

Sometimes we make the mistake of lumping individuals, opportunities etc as the same, without even bothering to look closely.

That an opportunity or person is SIMILAR to a past experience does not make the THE SAME!

Just before you conclude, OBSERVE AGAIN!

2. SHAPE
Pearls have NO PARTICULAR NEAT SHAPE.
(Emphasis on "neat")
Let's broaden this a little in relation to the things that we seek, that is people and opportunities etc.

Sometimes we have a preconceived idea of how what we are looking for should be but what if we miss it because the pack is different.....

Let me use an example of finding spouses here,
Many times we have our ideas pegged on superficial things like the Height, shape, complexion etc

 (I'm not saying it's wrong to get involved with people you find physically attractive but that alone shouldn't form the basis of your choices)

That he or she doesn't come in the shape that you feel inclined to doesn't mean they won't be perfect for you.

Same goes for opportunities!

3. TOUCH
I'm told that true pearls even when the weather is hot have a sense of cool while fake pearls will "feel" ( they me feel but they ARE NOT)  much more close to room temperature  when you first pick them up.

The second fact regarding touch is that when real pearls are knocked together, IT DOESN'T HARM the pearls but rather the PEARLS GIVES OFF SOME POWDER!

The third fact is that after you scratch a pearl, Just retouch is smoothly.
The scratch disappears on it's own and it's Luster(Shiny effect) returns!

Simply Amazing!
I wonder if anyone sees what i see??

Real pearls
( Likening them to humans now),
when under pressure or in crisis will give off powder!
(Synonymous for me, to a beautiful personality)

Simply put, under Crisis Pearls have the ability to maintain CALMNESS, BEAR PAIN WITH AN AMAZING ATTITUDE and REGAIN THEIR SHINE WHEN THE STORM IS OVER!

CRISIS DO NOT DAMAGE PEARLS!

4. SOUND
When you shake or knock a string of pearls, REAL PEARLS have a softer more comfortable sound while FAKE PEARLS have piped sounds.

Applying again to humans, as well as opportunities;
REAL PEARLS Will have a QUIET WAY of making their thoughts or position on a Matter known.

This lessons are not "gender centric" in any way, anybody or facet of life can apply these principles.

5. POLARIZER OBSERVATION
This is an industrial method of spotting Pearls.
According to this method, pearls are LIGHT or SEMI TRANSPARENT.

By application to human relations, 
REAL PEARLS are less Complex and easy to UNDERSTAND!

6. If you pearls have unusually bright colourings, they are very likely to be fake!

This would mean to me that certain opportunities may look very colourful but I need to look very critically at them before I take a plunge!

Most times amazing people and opportunities don't come in brilliant colours, they may look unfit and dull. But only time alone is able to prove them the "next big thing"!

7. FIRE TEST
A fake pearl will melt under heat.

8. PRIZE TEST
If a " pearl" comes cheaply, you most certainly have purchased a fake pearl.
(It's up to you to define what "cheap" will be to you)
Pearls are expensive!

If that opportunity, person or endeavor came cheap or worse still, without a prize, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!

In Conclusion,
Pearls are never out of style.
Put it this way, Pearls are flexible enough to adapt to changing situations in very GRACEFUL Manner.

The value of pearls DON'T DECREASE, rather they become MORE VALUABLE WITH TIME.

Lastly Fake pearls always seem to have an appearance of all the things that you hope for in contrast to REAL PEARLS that don't look like what you're searching for.

That's it people,
I hope that hence forth, spotting your pearls will be a walk over?
I also hope you can learn a few lessons on BECOMING A PEARL.....
Be guided.....


Love,
Your Fragile Giant!

Yesterday I started off sharing on a subject that seemed to pose a "daunting" challenge to even me.....

The subject of FLEXIBILITY....

Part of being flexible implies that I'll have to start right where I left off.
I'm just kidding......

I can't actually go through the whole lot again but I'll try to do a necessary recap, you can find the rest in our previous episode.

Flexibility basically means stepping out of the "rules", the way you crammed them.
This doesn't even do justice to the picture in my head.

I'm saying you should put those rules, the ones you were born with and those you
"acquired" (lol) in a shredder and PUSH THE "ON" BUTTON, even if you have to close your eyes to do it.

I also mentioned that FLEXIBILITY is a walk in the "park" and that all you needed was to ENJOY the scenery around you as you find the tracks.

Think about it, how can you or even i afford to go to the park only to miss out on the beauty of nature playing on around you? Gross right?

But that's how we seem caked up in our very inflexible nature!

And yes I'm unashamedly a first timer in this "park" but nonetheless I've got my camera ready to capture all the memories I can!

5 WAYS TO BE FLEXIBLE
Brrrrrrrrrhhhhhh!
You still don't get it do you? How daft!
Sweetie, there are no rules!
As far as flexibility goes, you call every shot that there is!

All you need to do is to adopt the heart of a child!
From an undisclosed source it is the GUARANTEE to ZERO STRESS!

The heart of a child doesn't come with any preprogrammed arrangement. The mind of a child is a clean slate that enables both LEARNING and UNLEARNING!

The data collected at infancy is very ERASABLE!

Honey, can you please SWITCH OFF YOUR BRAIN, your circuit breaker stopped working long ago before you damage the control room!

Data crunching or analysis is absolutely not needed!
In fact you deserve an Oscar for the "so much" you have done...

Don't force life, just love life!

I just don't know how to break it down so I'm not misunderstood but here is what it is
Life is way too short to spend it worrying!

You may not be able to change your nature but you can learn to love life, to live simply!

Flexibility says don't be afraid to push the accelerator down, just know when to apply the brakes!
And like driving, it just comes naturally for a good driver to know when to hit the brakes!

Oh it will feel awkward, I have a first hand experience because I'm undergoing lessons too.
You'll definitely get embarrassed at one point or the other but look on the brighter side.
Life is able to still throw some very pleasant surprises if you just keep moving!

Just on the humorous side, the Alphabet has 26 Letters; don't worry about a plan "A" that did not work in your journey towards flexibility, there are 25 more letters sweetie!

And No, I'm not reading a script; I'm just baring my heart!

Be positive,
Be Persistent!

Love,
Your Fragile Giant!

ON FLEXIBILITY

Flexibility is DEFINED
(even though I'm beginning to love unconventional things, whereas the word "defined" sounds structured)
as the ability to readily respond to changing circumstances or expectations.....

Cut! Cut! Cut!
Scrap that definition will you, I don't even know who invented the word "definition"!

Flexibility for this "me" who is trying to learn will be to EMBRACE UNCOVENTIONAL and CRAZY!

This is the scariest thing for a Melancholy like me to do
(if you are not sure who or what a melancholy is, I could tell you some other time, but first I need to deal with this).

Just for assimilation "Melancholy" is one of the four temperaments that there is but for want of time I won't say too much but I promise to tell you later.

So as I was saying,
a Melancholy is the least likely person of all temperaments to keep an open mind.

Boring right?
But that's how we are!

Now the deal for people like me out there is this,
Can you PLEASE STOP trying to figure out what people are thinking in "their own" hearts!

The heart is theirs Darling, let them use it. It is their exclusive property!

Now I don't mean this in an arrogant way, I'm simply saying LIVE YOUR LIFE!
the word "live" means to be OPERATIONAL.
Technically, operate your life!

Stop trying to analyse people's thoughts, actions or preconceive their motives!

Love freely, laugh freely
(don't bother about how loud you may be sounding, it's different from being uncouth),
become a "little dumb"
(switch of your brain this once!)

There is no prison bigger than the "fear of the unknown" and guess what Sweetie,
YOU PUT YOURSELF THERE!

Sweetie "crazy" is not the same as "mad"
(you who still doesn't get the gist will want to reason out my statement)

Loosen up, can't you see you are getting all wrinkly??

Embrace the mistakes as part of the fun.
If you get burnt as you try to become flexible,don't run, find out WHY!
And about the healing process, that's not your job!

Your Job is to LIVE LIFE!

I'm not going to kid myself by saying this is a walk in the park.

Again, Cut! Just cut!

Yes, FLEXIBILITY is a walk in the park!
You just have to figure out where the tracks are and spot the most beautiful trees in the park.

To be continued.....

I hate to stop but it's quite lengthy.
To retain the savor of this dish, it's better we "eat" it in small portions.

Love,
Your fragile Giant.

You all remember that saying, "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Well Ladies, I put a twist on this one.

Here is my version, " If you can't stand the heat, DON'T GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN, Open the window and get some FRESH AIR!

Hahaha, Genius that I am!
I apologize to the original owners of that philosophy but we have advertised "quiting on things" a lot.

Including yours truly, but "NOT ANYMORE"!

The kitchen is where food which sustains livelihood is PROCESSED,
The kitchen is where everyone looks to with a lot of expectation.

It's where people bank on for sustainance....

Love is baked in the kitchen, because that's the only place you are propelled by love for people to give your "culinary best"

It's a place of creativity and Lot's more

And some how you are seen fit to man such a sensitive place only for you to take off.

Have you stopped to consider WHAT HAPPENS TO OTHERS WHO ARE COUNTING ON YOU?

Now I've used the conventional kitchen that we all know to x-ray how terrible the idea of "quitting" sounds and how distasteful the result is.

Now pull a chair, sit back and meditate on those things you want to quit on.
Think about the people whose lives depend on your success at that venture!

Ask yourself if it's OKAY to let these people down, yourself inclusive.

Their Trust, their belief in you, their anticipation of your victory, their reliance on you for motivation; you can fill in the rest.

A wise man said and I quote,"if you have never felt like quitting on a thing, then it wasn't a worthwhile venture" and I agree completely.

Quitting has a tremendous RIPPLE EFFECT, it's not just about you. It sips into other people's lives as well.

The next time you want to quit, look back at the silent voices cheering you on.

Rather than quit, take a short break and continue!

You were born for the FINISH LINE, keep moving people.

Quitting is NOT AN OPTION!

Love,
Your Fragile Giant.

Many times you are hardly in control of how your day turns out but you can choose to PAUSE regardless, and HAVE A GOOD LAUGH.

Laughter has a way of untangling issues.

Sometimes it really is difficult to find something to laugh about but you could start by ATTEMPTING A FAKE LAUGH!

AND THAT'S WHAT I'LL LIKE  YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW......

I FOUND SOME VERY HILARIOUS "Whatever you'll like to call it". Lol

I'll show you in a minute......
                                       5
                                      6

Hey Ladies, just like I promised, I will be tidying up the LICKILICIOUS Episode!

We can't possibly wrap up this session without taking LESSONS LEARNED to go with the Inspiration I know you have gotten.

There actually cannot be a good SUCCESS STORY without things they HAD TO DO DIFFERENTLY and Bukky's philosophies and advice takes care of that.

So Ladies I present to you....

BUKKY'S ADVICE FOR INTENDING ENTREPRENEURS
1. Start right where you are!
Even before Bukky I have talked so much about the importance of STARTING anyhow. So Bukky advice just buttresses that point!

2. Start at your level;
If a business that was floated by Mr A at 30million that same business can still be floated by Mr B, the difference is they will have to operate at their levels.

3. Start small and grow big

4. Stay focused

5. Understand how to navigate the profit margin of business before you even consider borrowing for the sake of your peace of mind.

It's much better to start a business DEPT FREE then grow your business.
But if you must borrow, AVOID HIGH PERCENTAGE INSTITUTIONS.

MY PERSONAL LESSONS LEARNED
Ladies I wasn't left behind in the lessons learned and I made personal notes.
Here is what I learned;

1. Find out that thing you do around people that makes them ask for more, that could be your clue on what business run, if your interested in joining this ARMY OF BOSS LADIES.

2. While running your business and you notice  YOU ARE NOT HITTING TARGET nor DELIVERING SATISFACTORILY, Go back to your drawing board and try to REVIEW your BUSINESS PLAN, Modules, methods of operation etc

3. You won't find the MAGIC IN YOUR HANDS until you embrace the unknown.
You remember the Cinderella? Her fairy godmother did not show up until she indicated willingness to defy her slavery.

4. It is in your hands to become the best possible version of yourself!

Whew!!!
That was an interesting piece to write.

Thank you LICKILICIOUS BOSS LADY for giving us a peep into your LICKILICIOUS Experience....

Ladies, I hope the intent of this post hit it's mark.
Keep being your Beautiful self....
Nothing can stop you except you.

Love,
A Fragile Giant

Fragile Giant: Mrs Bukola Adebowale,
CEO LICKILICIOUS MOBILE KITCHEN.

Industry: Food and Hospitality.

Top of the morning to you ladies.
Yesterday I started of publishing the Business profile of a very amazing young woman and I promised to bring you her JUICY START UP STORY.

Juicy doesn't mean her startup was without hassles, it just means that just the same juice is extracted, she had to be SQUEEZED too before she came out productive.

That story my Friends, is what I'm starting your day with.

STAY INSPIRED!

STARTUP STORY
One day Bukky had served her younger brother and she as returned she met him licking the plate "passionately" and that was the GAME CHANGER for this young  Entrepreneur.

That was how the name LICKILICIOUS was coined, then she added "mobile kitchen"; indicating her willingness to leave her comfort zone to reach out to customers with the LICKILICIOUS EXPERIENCE.....

It actually took her brothers action to open her eyes to the opportunities her skills could bring her.

Prior to this time, she noticed her University roommates all loved to eat her food.
She was so good at cooking so much so that her lodge mates during her youth service used to contribute money so she could cook for them.

Bukky took the LEAP OF FAITH as she registered LICKILICIOUS in 2014, even though due to technical and logistics related issues she couldn't really fly. So she had to shut down in December of the same year to do a SYSTEM UPGRADE.

This upgrade included REVIEW OF HER PRODUCT and SERVICE LINE, COSTING and PRICING, STAFF RECRUITMENTS etc...

LICKILICIOUS then emerged BIGGER, BETTER  and STRONGER in 2018.

STARTUP CAPITAL
Bukky's start up capital was a paltry sum of #90,000. Which was used to procure equipments, Food Items and even pay staff.

(Interesting! Considering our present economy).

She still had to pay staff whether or not she made any profit.

Products and Services
LICKILICIOUS product and services include;
1. Events
Wedding, bridal and baby showers, house warming, birthdays etc

2. Outdoor and Indoor catering

3. Chops for Breakfast meetings/ Trainings/Conferences

4. Bulk orders
Corporate Lunch, Evening parties etc

5. Pot of soup sales
Nation wide delivery; Available in 2-8 Litres.

6. Bakes and confectionery

7. Smoothies

And I must add, with very pocket-friendly rates that can fit into anyone's budget.

CHALLENGES SO FAR
As with any other growing business, LICKILICIOUS also has her challenges.
Which include that people want "Good food" but want to pay very little, not even enough for running cost.

LONG-TERM PROJECTION
Bukky is DILIGENTLY working towards becoming a HOUSE HOLD NAME in the food Industry.
She intends to build LICKILICIOUS into the first go-to company when anyone thinks about events.
Starting with her latest package called "slay on budget".

OFCOURSE BUKKY IS VERY REACHABLE, YOU CAN FIND HER CONTACT IN THE PICTURE ABOVE!

And that's it Ladies for her STARTUP STORY
BUT that's not ALL. I'm sure you'll want to know how she STABILIZED the business to this point.

I PROMISE TO BRING YOU THAT TOMORROW.
Just STEW on this for a while as I round off COOKING THIS EPISODE.

Love,
Your Fragile Giant.